Thank God I'm Not a Republican!
If I were, I would have to pretend that somebody like this is a respected elder statesman:
Pandagon: There's no time like never, says Jesse Helms: Senator Helms, did you ever backtrack on your anti-integrationist beliefs, now that your memoirs are coming out?
'We will never know how integration might have been achieved in neighborhoods across our land, because the opportunity was snatched away by outside agitators who had their own agendas to advance,' according to the uncorrected proof. 'We certainly do know the price paid by the stirring of hatred, the encouragement of violence, the suspicion and distrust.'
Yes, a bunch of black people had the nerve--the nerve I tell you!--to demand equality during the inconvienent period of history known as Jesse Helms' life. How dare they. How 'having an agenda' and 'not being patient'--civil rights activists apparently should have waited for Helms and every other entitled white a****** on the planet to pass before asking quietly to be treated with dignity as is your right. Granted, that means wait forever, but that's better than making poor Senator Helms vaguely uncomfortable, isn't it?