Why Oh Why Can't We Have a Better Press Corps? (Stumbling-and-Mumbling Eviscerates the Times)
The Unfortunately Limited Influence of Clive Crook

A Short Rant on MS Word

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Microsoft Word is still the worst-behaved program running under Mac OS X. (For some reason, Excel is much better behaved).

I was originally sent this back in June 2002:

Procrastinating Since 1979 Dan Hon's relationship with Microsoft Word, v. X, has taken a turn for the worse:

Date: Wed, 12 Jun 2002 10:48:45 +0100 
Subject: A short rant on the topic of MS Word 
From: Dan Hon dan@danhon.com 
To: Culture culture@busstop.org 
X-Mnemonic: [CULTURE:78453] 
 Seeing as MS Word ATLs and mini-rants appear to be in vogue...

A Short Rant Concerning Word v.X, or, A series of Heartfelt Pleas

  1. Please, Word v.X, do not consume up to 1gb of virtual memory--it is unbecoming of you as a jumped up word processor
  2. Please, Word v.X, do not protest that you cannot save the notes for my exam, for it shall not only vex me but cause much stress
  3. Please, Word v.X, an "Automatic Save" feature is only useful if it (a) saves and (b) saves automatically (I feel an element of predictability would not go amiss, at least when I click print, I don't get a wet fish thrown at me. Though I wouldn't put it past you, Word v.X)
  4. Please, Word v.X, when I mount a network share, actually notice that it and let me do something useful with it, such as saving or opening files (I realise that many things in Mac OS X are there just to look pretty, but I did not think that network shares were among those things)
  5. Please, Word v.X, proper use of your facilities should not require copying all of the text into the clipboard, shutting you down, waiting for five minutes until you rid my display of the Spinning Beachball of Death, re-opening you and then pasting text back in.

Thank you for listening, Word v.X.

I feel that today the customary prolonged screams, shouts of agony and frustration, banged tables, naming of eventually-saved files as "This Had Better Bloody Well Work So Help Me God" and quiet whimpers of pleading took far long to have their required effect.