Attention Howard Kurtz: The Dominant View Is That Elena Kagan Is Not a Lesbian
Say It Ain't So, Greg! Whatever Happened to Greg Sargent? (Why Oh Why Can't We Have a Better Press Corps?)

EXTRA: MUST CREDIT DELONG: Court Nomination News: Senators McConnell and Hatch Denounce Nomination of Solomon ben David

In a press conference last midnight, Senators McConnell and Hatch reacted to a report by Jeremiah that YHWH had secretly met with Solomon ben Davi in a dream at Gibeon and planned to nominate him. "We question whether YHWH understands what makes a good judge," they said in a joint statement.

The press report by Jeremiah claimed that:

In Gibeon the LORD appeared to Solomon in a dream by night: and God said, "Ask what I shall give thee."
And Solomon said, "Thou hast shewed unto thy servant David my father great mercy, according as he walked before thee in truth, and in righteousness, and in uprightness of heart with thee; and thou hast kept for him this great kindness, that thou hast given him a son to sit on his throne, as it is this day.
"And now, O LORD my God, thou hast made thy servant king instead of David my father: and I am but a little child: I know not how to go out or come in.
"And thy servant is in the midst of thy people which thou hast chosen, a great people, that cannot be numbered nor counted for multitude.
"Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?"
And the speech pleased the Lord, that Solomon had asked this thing.
And God said unto him, "Because thou hast asked this thing, and hast not asked for thyself long life; neither hast asked riches for thyself, nor hast asked the life of thine enemies; but hast asked for thyself understanding to discern judgment;
"Behold, I have done according to thy words: lo, I have given thee a wise and an understanding heart; so that there was none like thee before thee, neither after thee shall any arise like unto thee..."

Senators McConnell and Hatch promised to do all they could to prevent Solomon ben David's nomination from even reaching the floor. "We want a ruler who will apply as written," they said. "We don't believe in any of this 'empathy' stuff. 'Wise and understanding heart'--feh!!"