If You Have Never Read This, You Should...
From Scamorama::
Dear Scamorama,
Here it is -- my masterpiece. I call it "Thomas Mallory VS Albert Abossi: Trouble A Head."
It's all here, friends. An urgent plea for help. A living human head, the victim of a 'failed body transplant.' Loneliness. Friendship. Trust. Life. Betrayal. Death. Lawyers. Returns from the dead. More lawyers, Western Union, mothers who 'collarpse,' and so much more!
Briefly, here is the cast:
THOMAS MALLORY -- A living human head, kept alive by a life support machine housed deep in the lowest sub-basement of the Biology Building at Miskatonic University in scenic Arkham, Massachusetts. The object of our scammer's dim-witted attentions.
MR. MOTO -- Mr. Mallory's caretaker. A simple man, Mr. Moto has Thomas Mallory's full and complete trust -- but does Mr. Moto hide a dark secret that no one, not even Mr. Mallory, suspects?
MELANIE ROURKE -- Legal counsel to Miskatonic University, and later to Thomas Mallory. A sharp-tongued, thoroughly offensive person, Melanie pulls no punches and brooks no foolishness.
ALBERT ABOSSI -- Our 419 scammer du jour. Prone to frequent mis-spellings, and even more frequent lapses in basic mental processes. Will, at one point, utter the words "...like I told you last time before your death ..." and apparently not feel the least bit silly.
ALBERT ABOSSI'S DOOMED EXPLODING MAMMA -- In typical fashion, falls ill and/or dies from the shock of hearing bad news.
MANAGEMENT -- The never-named upper echelon of the world famous "National Securite Company." Please do NOT confuse "Securite" with a "Security" company, which is an entirely different organization, in that the "Security" company would probably spell their name correctly.
BARRISTER JAMES BAWA -- Never really gets much screen time, what with all the deaths, resurrections, and aforementioned exploding mammas. Would have been happy to provide Thomas with a variety of clumsily forged documents at reasonable prices.
So let us lower the lights, raise the curtain, and begin!