Bequests: An Historical Perspective: Hoisted from the Archives for April 2, 2014
Econ 2: Spring 2014: Problem Set 5

I Swear in the Holy Name of the One Who Lives That This Is Not a Joke!--Or Not an Intentional Joke, at Least: Live from La Farine CXXXII: April 2, 2014

The right-wing Tea Party website Red State says it has an important message for me:

Below please find a special message from one of our advertisers, Reboot. From time to time we find special opportunities we believe you as a valued customer may want to see...

The message Red State believes that its valued subscribers want to see? Below the fold:

There are some people out there who think folks like you & me are a bit “odd”.

They think having a stockpile ready for a disaster is something they can put off for “someday” or “never”.

But those people are just hiding their heads in the sand. They are dead wrong -- and you are dead right.

You’ve seen the evidence and you know the situation is way too serious not to do something about. When a crisis hits, you’ll be ready. You’ll make darn sure your family won’t go hungry or get herded into a FEMA camp.

The fact is, if you don’t take action or if you stockpile the wrong foods, you could be setting your family up to starve. It sounds harsh, but the truth is too many people with good intentions are making critical mistakes with their food stockpiles.

Mistakes like…

  • Buying MREs with a 5 year shelf life (depending on where you buy them from they could be near expired)…

  • Getting gross survival foods that are tough to stomach and so high in salt, MSG and preservatives you could clog your arteries and get yourself sick…

  • Or simply buying the wrong foods and leaving a critical hole in your meal plan, which means your family can become malnourished…

Well, I decided to stop worrying. Obviously, waiting for FEMA to give me a handout in a disaster just wasn’t an option for me. And I was completely turned off by the crazy prices of survival food sold by most stores.

So I got in touch with my buddy Frank Bates and put my order in for his Food4Patriots survival food kits. This is Frank’s new line of survival food and there are 4 reasons why it’s literally flying off the shelves:

Food4Patriots is an incredible value. This high quality survival food without any fillers or poor-quality “franken-food” that the other guys use to pad their survival meals. They are made and packaged right here in the U.S.A. You won’t believe the prices on these kits – a fraction of the price what some other brands charge.

There’s no fancy packaging, it's military-grade sturdy stuff and can stand up to the crazy things that happen in a crisis. This food has a shelf life of up to 25 years, so you have complete peace of mind for the long term. And he’s using the most compact kits so you can store them anywhere in your home without any extra hassle. They’re sturdy, waterproof and stack easily. And extremely covert too.

You can make these meals in less than 20 minutes; just add boiling water, simmer, and serve. I tried ‘em and I think they taste as good or better than any other survival food I’ve EVER had. And you get a whole slew of choices for breakfast, lunch and dinner so you don’t get stuck eating the same thing day-in and day-out.

Frank has come up with some impressive FREE bonuses that are ONLY available to folks who purchase one of his kits on a first-come, first-served basis. For example, my kit 3-month came with 5,400+ heirloom survival seeds, 4 hard copy books, a 11-in-1 survival tool, and some other cool stuff.

I want to make sure you don’t miss out on this because this is the #1 item to hoard in 2014.

You need to get ‘er done right now.

Here’s why… If you don’t take action to get your food stockpile right now, you’ll be in the same boat as the brainwashed masses who think “everything is fine.” And if a crisis hits and your family asks, “What are we going to eat?” your mouth will go dry and you’ll feel powerless.

But what if you decide right now to secure your food stockpile instead? Just imagine how much better you’ll feel right away. And if a crisis hits and your family asks, “What are we going to eat?” you’ll calmly reassure them that they’re safe and they will have plenty to eat.

Listen, I can’t predict the future. I don’t know exactly when or how a crisis will hit. But from everything I see, it could be soon and it could be a big one.

That’s why I really want you to get the same peace of mind that I do.

Go grab your kit now before they’re all gone.

To your freedom, Frank Bates

Grifters gotta grift. Dingbats gotta ding. The nice thing about being in Berkeley, CA, is that the dingbats are nice dingbats who want to get me in touch with the vibrations of the universe rather than paranoids who are easy prey to grifters...